Why is change so hard?

           foliage

          I am sure you are familiar with the famous saying “the only constant is change”. This month, with fall upon us and change in the air, I am wondering what this really means in our lives. Just recently, I went for a walk through a park. It was one of the last days of summer. The sun was bright, the temperature warm, birds were singing. At first glance, it did not seem as one of the last days of summer. It could have been a cool summer day. Then I noticed something – a tree. I think it was a Japanese maple tree. Its leaves had started turning red. When those leaves turn red, it is a certain sign that fall is coming. Fall foliage is a sure sign of autumn and certainly a sign of the end of summer.

           The change of seasons is a natural change you might say. You might also say that you have no problem with this kind of change. When temperatures drop, you just change your wardrobe. When summer activities seize, you simply move indoors. You might also look back in agony and wish that summer would never end. You might try to resist this change. I belong to the second group. Change is hard for me. Why can’t we, as human beings, not simply accept it as our Mother Nature does? Mother Nature does not hold on to the leaves. She lets them go. Why? Because she knows that the tree needs to rest so the new leaves, which are still hidden, can grow once spring comes. One could also say something similar about the oak tree. From an acorn mighty oak trees grow. This saying is a good reminder of how much good can come from this change and something so little if we just trust and give it time to grow.

           Change can be many different things. It can be sudden; it can be gradual; it can be joyful and hoped for; and it can be hurtful and literally depressing. I believe that change can seem scary because the future is uncertain. However, if you look at nature, nothing is uncertain there. Everything is already planned and ready to be born when the time is right. Out of something old, something new comes. Out of something little, something big is born. This is the law of nature. Take a small, unknown town in the countryside which wants to grow. Add an attraction, a museum, offer something unique. Polish it up, get the word out. Do what you can to put that place on the map. Don’t look back into the past and how great this place once was. Embrace change and create its future. Plant an acorn today. Change can be hurtful for a while. Take a relationship with a colleague, who leaves the company you work at for example. How many tears have I shed already when I liked my colleague very much? Uncertain about whether we would ever see each other again, we hug and say our good-byes. Such a change is hard. I usually miss my beloved colleagues terribly. However, when we meet again, I realize why this change had to happen – so we could change and become friends for life and not only coworkers from 9 to 5. Our acorn developed into an oak tree, which will stand and continue to grow for a long, long time.

          You see, I still think that change is hard. However, with faith that something good comes out of every change, I take change for what it is. It is not a loss of any kind. It is just a sign of life that something new, and perhaps something even greater, is about to be born.

 Love, Barbara

Copyright © 2014 by Barbara Bullock

Photo credit: Barbara Bullock 2014

Have you seen my twin flame?

Dear friends,

I recently experienced something which made me think about the term twin flame. I understand a twin flame as a spiritual, new age name of a soul which split into two parts at some point. Many people these days are opening up to this kind of consciousness and awareness. Since I was born I have always known that there is more than what we can see in our physical world. In recent years, I have been reading tons of books about spirituality, new age concepts as well as ancient knowledge. I find that the more I learn, the more I open up to new possibilities.

Although I have many reasons to be content and grateful in my life, I had always felt that something or someone is missing in my life. Then one day, I looked into your eyes. When our paths crossed, I felt a sense of completeness beyond my human understanding. Suddenly, in a split of a second, my longing was gone. Although a cold winter day, an inexplicable sensation of warmth overcame my physical body, my heart filled with unconditional love, and my spirit was elevated. When I looked at you, immeasurable unconditional love for you emerged from the bottom of my heart. I realized that my heart loves yours more than mine. I also realized that I love you more than there are stars in the sky. I felt at home. I knew that you would understand me. I knew that, finally, I was complete. I came to the conclusion that I would never ever have to miss anything or anyone anymore. Although I had fallen deeply in love before, I knew instantly that this was not about falling in love. This felt differently. You seemed so familiar to me. All my fears and doubts were gone. Although I did not know you as person, I felt like as if I did know you from somewhere, from sometime. All it took was looking into your beautiful eyes.

Then you left.

Ever since you left, I miss you. There is an emptiness is my heart that only you can fill. I miss you because I feel you are a part of my soul. I miss you because you are a part of me. You give me strength; you give me courage; you are the magnificence of our universe personified. You are everything I am not. You are like the phoenix that rose from her ashes shining in all her glory while I struggle like a candle in the wind barely staying alive. When I look at you, I see love, beauty and divine grace. When I look at myself, I see fears, doubts, and insecurity. Why can’t I just accept and love myself? Perhaps all my love is with you.

I recently read that twin flames can be reunited. When they meet again, it feels like a soul recognition all over again – the inexplicable warmth, the unconditional love, the realization of an eternal bond between souls. We recognize each other as if we have never been separated in the first place. Out of the depths of my deepest despair arises the greatest love of all. As I look closer, I see something familiar. No, it’s not you. It’s me. You are me and I am you. Together we are us. We are twin flames. We are one.

I also read recently, that on a soul level we are always united. I try to remember that when I miss you. And finally, after realizing this, I feel complete and loved again. By the way, looking into your eyes is the best thing that ever happened to me. I pray that we are reunited soon. My twin flame, I love you. Unconditionally. Eternally.

Love, Barb

Copyright © 2014 by Barbara Bullock

To Mommy with Love on Mother’s Day

Dear friends,

RoseMay is one of my favorite months of the year as May is the month many of us celebrate Mother’s Day. For many people Mother’s Day means expressing gratitude to their biological mother for everything she is doing for her family. We thank our mothers for her care, for her love and for her wisdom. On a wider scale, mothers inspire us, love us and protect us. This is why I believe a mother can come in many forms.

I think a mother is a form of energy and a concept. In philosophical and in particular spiritual terms, a mother is often considered as positive, loving and caring form of energy. I believe we and everything around us is pure energy materialized. If everything is energy, then we must be of energy as well. As a matter of fact, creation occurs when different forms of energies such as masculine and feminine energy are combined to create a new form containing both energies. Therefore, if we are indeed energy, we must contain both energies inside of us. Consequently, this feminine – motherly – energy is inside of us whether we are or have mothers in life or not. I believe that, when we tap into this energy, we are able to express the love and care for others and ourselves. We are able to give and receive unconditional love as a true mother does.

Many cultures also suggest religious figures one can worship as a mother, in form of a goddess or Saint who protects und and loves us unconditionally, such as Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus in Christian traditions, the Tibetan Tara, Hindu Deities, as well as Native American goddesses; just to name a few.

I also believe a true mother is someone who loves, teaches, inspires, and cares for others no matter whether she has children of her own or not. I believe it is possible to love another person like a mother or love someone like a daughter or son when one taps into this loving and caring energy inside of us. The question is, how do you name this energy, this concept, or this particular person, your mother or mother figure? I call mine “Mommy”. While the name “Mommy” is often given to real mothers by small children, I call mine “Mommy” even though I am an adult. I don’t find it as inappropriate; I find the opposite to be true.

I call you mommy because I would like to express the unconditional love I feel for you. When I see you, I do so with the innocence and wonderment of childhood. I call you mommy because you mean the world to me. Mommy, when I look into your beautiful eyes I see your soul and I see mine. As our energies combine, my heart fills with unconditional love for you. I feel immense gratitude for your love and for allowing me to love you this way. You are the best that has ever happened to me. You are my world. You are beautiful like a rose, created in pure divine precision. As the rose petals are aligned next and in each other perfectly, so is your inner and outer beauty the perfect divine reflection of the real you. Ever since you came into my life, it changed completely. I am a better person because of you. I see myself in you. I understand how I want to be when I grow up. You teach me and everyone around you more than I could ever thank you for.

I thank the heavens for your existence and I thank you. Thank you for being my “Mommy”.  As your love fills my heart, I hope mine fills yours. May our everlasting bond of love connect us through eternity and beyond space and time. Happy Mother’s Day, mommy.

May, you, my friends, find your “Mommy”, inside of you or around you.

Happy Mother’s Day to all.

Love, Barbara

Copyright © 2014 Barbara Bullock

Photo credit Barbara Bullock