Category: Death

If only I could help

Barbara Bullock, M.F.A. Spiritual writer

 

Counting my blessings at the beach
Counting my blessings at the beach

These past few weeks have been tough. Opposite emotions have emerged in my being. I have been sad, angry, and frightened. I have been amazed, grateful, and glad. How come? If you have been following the news, you will probably have heard of all kinds of natural and man-made disasters, from the latest earthquakes in Italy, wildfires in California to floods in Louisiana, tornadoes, and wars. If I was to make a list, I would probably not finish it in my lifetime. Each disaster, no matter where, no matter how big, has an impact. This strike of tragedy can affect a single person, a small family, a village, a metropolitan area, a country, a small group of people, or millions. No matter what size, each calamity evokes a story of sadness to be told to future generations. Each catastrophe leaves death, a trail of destruction, and shattered dreams behind. Each time I hear such news, I am devastated too.

 
Then I become grateful. As I take a walk at the beach collecting shells on a vacation, commute to work to earn a living, and return back to a safe home and warm bed to sleep in, I give thanks for my protection and all my blessings in my life. Next, I remember the child that got rescued after hours of uncertainty and fear for her life, I keep thinking of all the people who aren’t so lucky. I cannot imagine what life is like in an emergency shelter, a refugee station, a tent city. I cannot watch the news any longer. I cannot bear seeing the anguish in the faces of all the victims having lost everything in a matter of seconds. I don’t even try to understand why these catastrophes happen. All I know is that I feel for the people and animals. I might not know them personally, but that does not matter.

 
Each time I hear such news I feel for everyone because I am an empath. I can feel pain across the miles even if I am safe myself. Back in my comfortable bed, I feel helpless. If only I could help. If only I could help, I would pay for new homes, new things, and a new start. The shop owner could rebuild his business; the children would have a school again; the family would have a home to come home to; the churchgoers could rebuild their place of worship; the local hospital could perform miracles of recovery again. If only I could help where help is needed.

 
It is my dream to have a foundation one day so it can help many people. While my resources to do such might be too limited at this point in time, I use my inner strength as an empath in the meantime. I pray for recovery, new homes, and reunions of missing people. I pray so that one day I can pay for new homes, new things, and a new start. No questions asked. Nothing wanted in return. Just help where help is needed. For now, I pray for you, beautiful people and gorgeous places. Stay safe.

 
Love,

Barbara

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Copyright © 2016 by Barbara Bullock, Photo credit © 2016 by Barbara Bullock, taken in Venice, Italy, May 2016

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Two New Beginnings

Barbara Bullock, M.F.A. Spiritual writer

 

Sunset in Venice, Italy, signifying the end of a day. A new beginning follows the next day.
Sunset in Venice, Italy, signifying the end of a day. A new beginning follows the next day.

This month, June, has turned out to be a very eventful month leaving me with two significant occurrences that will change my life forever. As I walked across the stage of the Petco Park Stadium in San Diego celebrating the achievement and conferral of my degree, I got emotional when I shook the dean’s hands. Certainly, it was an exciting day that I had looked forward to for months. Certainly, my accomplishment was worth being proud of. Certainly, I had all rights to shed a few happy tears. However, those cheerful tears were not only mine. As I walked off the stage and looked into the crowds of families and friends applauding the graduates, I thought of my dad. He had passed away a few days earlier. He was the kind of person, who would not always express his feelings directly. Rather, he did so in silent whispers and small gestures. He could not cheer me loudly on that day. Nevertheless, I could feel that he was proud of me. Perhaps it was him crying cheerful tears on that day.

Several speakers at the commencement pointed out that it is not necessarily the degree itself that will make a difference in the world but what we do with it. While a commencement ceremony signifies a celebration of achievement and the end of a student’s studies, it is a new beginning. It is a chance for the graduate to use the knowledge received for the greater and make a mark in the world. It is a chance to leave the world a little better than before. It is a chance for a new beginning of success. Some students use it to better the lives of others in their communities, other students fly to the moon to change the entire world. A student becomes a graduate, a professor becomes a former instructor, and a university an alma mater leaving memories and wisdom.

The same can be said when a parent returns to our spiritual home leaving many memories of childhood and transferred knowledge behind in the hope that the next generation would carry on the tradition and legacy, a kind of new beginning although heavily disguised. It takes courage to love because suffering and loss is an inevitable part of loving. It takes courage to let go. It takes courage to graduate and venture out into the world. Thank you, Dad, for your courage. I hope I’ll make you proud again someday. Meanwhile, fly with the angels to the moon. I’ll see you there some day.

Love, Barbara

Copyright © 2016 by Barbara Bullock, Photo credit © 2016 by Barbara Bullock, taken in Venice, Italy, May 2016

Sources:

National University www.nu.edu

Petco Park, San Diego http://petcoparkevents.com/

#Graduation #University #Beginning #End #Death #June #Transformation #Commencement #NationalUniversity #PetoPark #SanDiego #Parent #Dad #Father

 

A writer with no words – a tribute to Bobbi Kristina

Barbara Bullock, M.F.A. Spiritual writer

 

Krissi August 2015
Waiting for my rainbow in the clouds

Dear friends,

“I’m a writer with no words…..Bobbi Kris” Tyler Perry said recently. I was sitting on my balcony enjoying breakfast. Then I turned on my phone and went online. I said: “Let’s see what’s happening in the world”. I can talk a lot you must know. Suddenly, I became speechless myself. The day was July 26, 2015. As I read the news, my throat tightened. I could not believe what I had just read. Bobbi Kris was no more.

Writers were with no words, speakers with nothing to say. The world got darker and colder once again. Each time this happens, my heart breaks; each time I cry endlessly. As tears wash away the pain, I know that each time an angel simply went home. Krissi, I know that you are in God’s hands, your mommy’s arms and hopefully finally at peace. You were just like your mom – beautiful, talented and a sweet human angel, an earth angel. Many people loved you; others hurt you because they were blinded by your bright light. Too many times you were judged, ridiculed, and disrespected. I want you to know, that, today, I don’t want to be someone with no words. Today, tomorrow, and every day, I will write and speak of you highly as much as I can. I did not know you personally, but I did see your light and felt your love. I watched you grow up like a little sister I had always wished for but never had. I saw the butterfly emerge and spread its wings. I witnessed the immense and beautiful bond that you shared with your mom. The eternal bond of motherly love is all there is. While many hearts on earth are heavy now, I know you finally got your mommy back. Your bond could not be severed for long because love is all there is.

Once again the eternal motherly bond has brought you two angels back together again. Keep singing in heaven, Krissi, mommy and the Lord got you. I’ll miss you down here but I look forward to your smile from the clouds. You are the rainbow in my clouds as Dr. Maya Angelou used to say. Your smile always lit up my world. I will always love you. Rest in peace now, sweet girl.

My prayers go out to the family and friends of‪ Bobbi Kristina. May the family and friends be strengthened with love and the wisdom that you have found your peace and mommy again.

I lit a candle earlier today. This candle is for you, Krissi. Fly high with mommy now, baby girl. I’ll see you again, little sister.

Love, Barbara

Copyright © 2015 by Barbara Bullock

Photo credit © 2015 by Barbara Bullock

Works cited: Tyler Perry www.tylerperry.com, Dr. Maya Angelou www.mayaangelou.com

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Barbara-Bullock/277533425653786

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